Three Life Lessons

Someone recently asked me, what’s it like to turn 60? And I told them—60 is a big deal. It’s not just another birthday. It’s a moment of culmination—of everything I’ve lived, learned, and believed in.

The Gemara (Moed Katan 28a) teaches that reaching 60 marks passing beyond the decree of Karet—a reminder that every day from here on is an extra blessing. In Pirkei Avot (5:21), it says: "Ben shishim l’ziknah"—at 60, one reaches the stage of wisdom and maturity. This is a time not just to look back with gratitude but to look forward with purpose—to recognize the blessings of a life well-lived and the responsibilities that come with it.

But for me, turning 60 is not about slowing down. It’s about finding my voice, stepping into who I am with clarity and confidence, and embracing new beginnings. It’s the culmination of a lifelong journey—one of personal growth, religious and spiritual deepening, and an unbreakable bond with Jewish history, Israel, my family, and ultimately, my homecoming to Jerusalem.

The Early Years: Lessons in Adversity and Kindness

I was born in 1965 in Cape Town, South Africa, into a middle-class Jewish family during apartheid. I was a mischievous child—probably had undiagnosed ADHD—and struggled with languages. I attended Jewish school but later moved to a government high school, where I found my strengths in squash, chess, photography, and stamp collecting.

Our family was traditional: Friday night Shul and Dinner, I was in the Shul choir, and after my Bar mitzvah, I helped my father in the family hardware store on Saturday Mornings.

At school, I expected to be named a prefect (like a class captain). When I wasn’t, I was deeply disappointed. But instead of letting it hold me back, I decided to prove myself. I focused on improving my grades, particularly in history and accounting—subjects that still define me today—and graduated as a top student.

📌 Lesson #1: Turn setbacks into success.

Life is full of disappointments, but every challenge is an opportunity to grow. When doors close, find another way forward.

At 20, my father passed away. He was a giant in my life—a man of kindness, integrity, and deep values. He treated everyone with dignity—his employees, customers, and friends. That left a lasting imprint on me.

📌 Lesson #2: Be kind to everyone.

Success isn’t measured by titles or wealth but by the impact we have on others. My father’s kindness is his legacy, and it’s one I strive to carry forward.

A Journey of Growth: Faith, Family, and Purpose

At 24, I left Cape Town for London with just £500 to my name. I was searching for career opportunities, faith, and meaning. Seven months in, I met my wife, Charmaine, at the Hard Rock Café. A year later, we were married. Inspired by role models around us, we chose to build a kosher, observant home.

By 30, now with two children, we made Aliyah to Israel settling in Raanana. I built a career, worked my way up, and by my mid 30s, became CFO of one of Israel’s wealthiest businessman. We were living the dream and had a house with a pool, a comfortable lifestyle, and what I now call “tick-box Judaism.”

But life has a way of shaking things up. At 40, everything changed. My mother-in-law passed away. I lost my job. And we had Ashira, who brought us immense joy but also deep challenges.

This period forced me on a different journey—one of spirituality and self-discovery. I found inspiration in the music and teachings of Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach, which reignited my heart and gave me a higher dimension and a passion for Life, what it means to be a Jew, celebrate Shabbat, and Jerusalem. Through him, I discovered Rav Kook, who deepened my soul. And later, Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, who gave me the intellectual clarity I now share.

At the same time, I faced challenges as a father and in Business. This period taught me a new term—emotional intelligence—something I felt short of. It explained much about my challenges, both personal and professional.

Moving to Jerusalem

My journey has taken me from Cape Town to London to Raanna and finally to Jerusalem—a city that is more than just a place. It is where my soul feels at home, where history and destiny intertwine. My love for Jerusalem runs deep—it is where I have found my voice, where my story has found its true setting.

Looking back, the last decade—from 50 to 60—was a period of profound discovery. I received blessings: welcoming grandchildren into my life, experiencing a shift in my spirit, and rediscovering what truly matters. I adjusted to a new reality—downsizing from a house in Raanana to an apartment in Jerusalem, learning to embrace a more modest and humble life. And in doing so, I found something greater—a renewed sense of purpose, a deeper understanding of who I am.

Taking Stock: The Balance Sheet at 60

Now, as I take stock, I am deeply grateful.

✔️ Financially – I have more than £500 to my name.
✔️ Career – I’ve had a fulfilling career despite job changes and challenges.
✔️ Family – My greatest blessing is Charmaine—my wife of 34 years, my rock, my partner, and my guide.
✔️ Children & Grandchildren – We raised five incredible, diverse children—what I call my “rainbow children.” They may not always fit in the same room, but they share a common trait: kindness. And I now have the privilege of being “Saba Kobi” to eight wonderful grandchildren.

I’ve carried many names:

• Jeffrey—The name I use in business.

• Yaakov—Like the biblical Yaakov, I’ve faced struggles and strive to become Yisrael—upright, resilient, and purposeful.

• Saba Kobi—My favourite name, the one that truly defines me today.

At 60, I also realized an important lesson: I’ve spent years chasing ideas and relying on others’ expertise. Now, I’m focusing on what I know I do best—

📌 Lesson #3: Focus on your strengths and do it with passion.

The key to fulfilment isn’t doing everything—it’s doing what you love, what you’re good at, and giving it your all. Indeed, this is a lesson learnt from my mother.

At 60, I see my journey to finding my Voice —to my roots, to my faith, to my life missions. And I remind myself of Colonel Sanders—who only started KFC after 60.

As I step into this next chapter, I do so with renewed purpose—to live with meaning, to give with kindness, and to cherish the family and friends who make this journey so rich. Thank you for being part of this moment, for sharing in this milestone, and for walking this path with me.

L’Chaim—to the next chapter!